Did you do something to your hair?

So I realize that compliments are not always genuine. People will toss out a “Have you been working out?” just to say something nice. And even though it might have absolutely nothing to do with your working out (or lack thereof), people might actually think you just look nice and grab a ready standby phrase to express that. A phrase sure to make someone feel good.

I haven’t seen Reverien, our cleaner at the office, in a week or so now because he’s been on vacation. He stopped by this morning to say hello and we indulged in a bit of chit-chat as I was making coffee. When suddenly, as I turn to fill the coffee pot with water, he says from behind me:

“You’ve gotten bigger!”

Oh gosh. I’ve seen this happen to Liz. I sat at my desk while she greeted an old friend (Burundian man) and witnessed him call her fat. Right there, to her face. I think my eyebrows were an inch above their normal resting place but she took it in stride. A gracious nod, a polite dismissal. And slowly I caught on to the dreadfully ironic exchange: he was offering an American woman a compliment – by calling her fat.

I swing back around to Reverien: “Huh?!”

To make sure I understood what he said, he smiled jovially and held his arms out around his belly in that limp-ballerina-arm pose to show that yes, it looks like your midsection is expanding. He even looks to Freddy beside him for confirmation, and they both shake their heads, still smiling.

Okay. Thanks guys.